"I don't think I need that 17 or 18 year old body. I like the body I have now and the experiences that this body has been through. Just because you WERE something, it doesn't mean you need to be that something ever again. You can progress and move forward with life, with the body you have, at a variety of weights, and be healthy, happy, strong, and capable."
(from paleo women podcast #37)
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
Your Baby Can't Read
Reading "The Intuitive Parent" reinforced the decision that I will definitely not be using the 'Your Baby Can Read' materials... (Sorry grandma!)
The question now is what the heck do I do with them? I honestly feel guilty trying to sell them on craigslist knowing they might be forced upon some poor baby, and while I'm great at throwing stuff out, this feels wrong...
Yipes...Anyway...A great excerpt!
"What serious research shows us -- that language development must come first and that babies need adults to interact and converse with them, pointing out interesting things in the world and reacting to their responses.
The question now is what the heck do I do with them? I honestly feel guilty trying to sell them on craigslist knowing they might be forced upon some poor baby, and while I'm great at throwing stuff out, this feels wrong...
Yipes...Anyway...A great excerpt!
"What serious research shows us -- that language development must come first and that babies need adults to interact and converse with them, pointing out interesting things in the world and reacting to their responses.
With a strong foundation of language development, fostered by lots of playful conversation, story time and read-alouds, children will have a much easier time decoding as well as comprehending printed text when they are taught to read in kindergarten and first grade. Putting flashcards in front of babies, which is a key component of both Domans' recommendations and the controversial video series, is nowhere near as richly stimulating to children as communicating with them through real back-and-forth conversations about the world around them. Even if babies are still in the babbling stage, they are learning a lot about language by interacting with adults who respond to the sounds they make."
(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-guernsey/learning-to-read-how-youn_b_860964.html)
Kelly Brogan MD - Women + Carbs
Nutrition is amazingly variable to the individual. Women and men are so different in their needs, and our needs are all so different as we navigate the stages of life!
I live in a house where we are definitely on the defiant "fat rules!" band-wagon...but during pregnancy, and BIG TIME when I was immediately post-partum, I NEEDED carbs.
I just wanted to re-link to this blog post on the topic! Kelly Brogan's blog and resources for women are SUPER cool!
Book Review: All Joy and No Fun
This was an intense book for me. It examines the institute of modern parenthood and has really deep themes regarding joy and happiness ("WHY do we parent?!").
It was really hard to read some of the sections where she's getting into the lives of various families. Made me feel like "WHY am I doing this?!" However, it is so well-written and there are so many cool psychology and wisdom nuggets along the way that I was glad to read the whole thing.
She writes about the Japanese phrase mono no aware - supposedly this is translated into something like "the bittersweetness inherent in ephemeral beauty." This is something I feel like I experience every day with Lucy. Mom likes to say "babies don't exist - they're an illusion!" It is such a fleeting and ephemeral time! When Lucy was born, mom said "You guys were never this small!" I had that same feeling when we saw a 5-week old at the chiropractor the other day...I already don't remember Lucy ever being that small, and she JUST was!
This is another book that brings up Flow (mihaly csikszentmihalyi) a whole lot...Flow seems to perk its head up in everything I read these days. She says parenting is NOT a flow activity - haha!
Here were some quotes I really enjoyed...
"I had children for the same reason I like growing grass and I like walking in the mountains. Having children is part of the way I'm wired, and it's easy to go with the flow. I had no expectations."
"To Aristotle, eudaimonia (roughly translated 'flourishing') meant doing something productive. Happiness could only be achieved through exploiting our strengths and our potential. To be happy, one must do, not just feel. Raising children requires a lot of doing. It's a life of clamorous, perpetual forward motion."
"That's what choosing parenthood does: gives strength and structural integrity to one's life through meaningful tension."
It was really hard to read some of the sections where she's getting into the lives of various families. Made me feel like "WHY am I doing this?!" However, it is so well-written and there are so many cool psychology and wisdom nuggets along the way that I was glad to read the whole thing.
She writes about the Japanese phrase mono no aware - supposedly this is translated into something like "the bittersweetness inherent in ephemeral beauty." This is something I feel like I experience every day with Lucy. Mom likes to say "babies don't exist - they're an illusion!" It is such a fleeting and ephemeral time! When Lucy was born, mom said "You guys were never this small!" I had that same feeling when we saw a 5-week old at the chiropractor the other day...I already don't remember Lucy ever being that small, and she JUST was!
This is another book that brings up Flow (mihaly csikszentmihalyi) a whole lot...Flow seems to perk its head up in everything I read these days. She says parenting is NOT a flow activity - haha!
Here were some quotes I really enjoyed...
"I had children for the same reason I like growing grass and I like walking in the mountains. Having children is part of the way I'm wired, and it's easy to go with the flow. I had no expectations."
"To Aristotle, eudaimonia (roughly translated 'flourishing') meant doing something productive. Happiness could only be achieved through exploiting our strengths and our potential. To be happy, one must do, not just feel. Raising children requires a lot of doing. It's a life of clamorous, perpetual forward motion."
"That's what choosing parenthood does: gives strength and structural integrity to one's life through meaningful tension."
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Book Review: "Do the KIND Thing"
I picked it up from the new releases section at the library on a complete and total whim. I skimmed through most of it (business culture stuff), slowing over the parts of his personal story (his background as a Mexican Jew with parents who survived Dachau is really interesting). The most salient points to me were the following re: UNPLUGGING from tech and a couple bonus thoughts.
"Talking with yourself often and deeply is not always an easy task but there are no shortcuts to understanding what makes you tick. You must take the time to ask yourself questions....We need to dream - to consciously daydream. To let our thoughts and our consciousness take us wherever they may."
"One of the biggest dangers of smartphones and other digital devices is that we don't get a chance to talk to ourselves as much. We're constantly getting stimulation, reviewing email, voicemail, and social media .We don't give ourselves the time to let our minds go where they want to go. You need to block out time. If you can, structure your work life to have one hour during which you let your brain go every day."
...
"Creative brainstorming and conscious drifting should be encouraged
Bonus:
"I'd rather make the mistake of giving to someone who doesn't need it than run the risk of not giving a hand to someone who does."
On public speaking/performing: "Imagine that every one of these people is a flower: This one is a lily, this one is a rose..." (Better than the old imagine people naked trick!)
"One of the biggest dangers of smartphones and other digital devices is that we don't get a chance to talk to ourselves as much. We're constantly getting stimulation, reviewing email, voicemail, and social media .We don't give ourselves the time to let our minds go where they want to go. You need to block out time. If you can, structure your work life to have one hour during which you let your brain go every day."
...
"Creative brainstorming and conscious drifting should be encouraged
Bonus:
"I'd rather make the mistake of giving to someone who doesn't need it than run the risk of not giving a hand to someone who does."
On public speaking/performing: "Imagine that every one of these people is a flower: This one is a lily, this one is a rose..." (Better than the old imagine people naked trick!)
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Cholesterol Love
In school, I loved stuff like this... (from Reproductive Physiology Class in 2009)
Cholesterol is THE essential building block/precursor to all major sex hormones - and a few others to boot!
And it sounds silly, but this is part of the reason I would eat tablespoons of grass-fed butter when we started thinking maybe we wanted to have a baby.
As another personal side note, my blood cholesterol at this time (nursing) is SKY HIGH (>300). But I don't see this as a bad thing. My HDL is also sky high (~100), and my triglycerides are right around 50.
Breastmilk is derived from blood...I wonder how much cholesterol she is getting!
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Things I Will Do Differently If I Have Another Baby...
I think my grandma thinks I'm already trying to have another one. As if I'm even ovulating... Really grandma?!
OK, first of all, a few weeks before my due date I will get my hair done - cut or high-lighted or whatever I'm feeling...at 4 months post-partum, I am wanting a trim and high-lights so badly! Hard to make the time. Definitely doesn't happen with a newborn.
ALSO, I'm getting a doula. Especially if I'm going to the hospital again. Yes, it is expensive. But birth is so profound...I want another woman in on it - for hip squeezes, for comfort measures, for advocacy, for possible hypnobabies help, and to help me remember the darn story! As I got closer to due date with Lucy, and thinking I might have to be induced, I especially wished that I had one. I "wung it" and had a great birth, but really, I think it was a mistake not to get a doula. As a side note, I definitely bonded to my midwife. Husbands are important, but they are just not women. (Thank goodness.)
I will eat dates in the final 4 weeks. (the consumption of date fruit in the last 4 weeks before labour significantly reduced the need for induction and augmentation of labour, and produced a more favourable, but non-significant, delivery outcome. The results warrant a randomised controlled trial.)
I will eat dates in the final 4 weeks. (the consumption of date fruit in the last 4 weeks before labour significantly reduced the need for induction and augmentation of labour, and produced a more favourable, but non-significant, delivery outcome. The results warrant a randomised controlled trial.)
Moving on! When I'm in labor, I will...
1. Watch happy birth videos! They make me so emotional they must be doing something good hormonally! I bet that's a good hormone high during labor. I had no idea what I was working toward with Lucy, but just thinking about her arrival makes me emotional now. Heck, maybe I'll just meditate on that.
2. Go to my chiropractor. At a recent visit with her, she mentioned that a lady in labor was coming in soon. I thought "SHOOT why didn't I think of that?! I was in labor long enough, and it wasn't a weekend!" Hopefully she's available... That would be such a relief. I partially credit her with getting labor going for me.
3. Take more baths. My midwife told me not to after our first visit to the hospital - said it would slow me down. Naturally, I did it anyway. But honestly, that was what I needed. It was WOW relief and rest. The only way I was able to lie down. Karen told me to take baths. She was right.
4. Make sure I'm listening to hypnobabies while pushing instead of my husband... Enough said. I mean, to his credit, he did ask if I wanted to listen. My intensely focused labor self said NO (AH!). He should have just put the headphones in my ear.
For after I have the baby...
1. If we are in the hospital, and healthy - I will make every effort to get the pediatrician to sign off on us leaving ASAP ... I didn't know this was the hold up this first time. Our stay in the hospital felt way too long. I wad dying to get out and go the heck home! 2 whole nights after my delivery 'night!' Crazy.
2. I will bring sweatpants or pajama pants. I told some friends about this. I only had my maternity leggings and a sarong. Leggings are a no-no after birth. The sarong was fine but immodest and ridiculous.
3. I will have pads at home. Funny story about how I didn't have these, and neither mom nor husband were willing to get them, or even knew what to get.
4. Dark chocolate. Such an easy thing to bring...No explanation required?
5. Go to chiropractor on the way home if possible.
4. Dark chocolate. Such an easy thing to bring...No explanation required?
5. Go to chiropractor on the way home if possible.
Those are the biggies for now!
Also : Microbiome/GBS (podcast on the mama station) - antibiotic avoidance?? AND pelvic floor physiotherapy?? - visitors...in the hospital please, VERY short at home
Also : Microbiome/GBS (podcast on the mama station) - antibiotic avoidance?? AND pelvic floor physiotherapy?? - visitors...in the hospital please, VERY short at home
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
No mistakes
I loved this idea from this 'Atomic Mom' podcast....Calm Mama, Happy Baby
-Give babies to the grandparents to raise. Grandparents already have the wisdom that comes from being a parent, and that is about mistakes. There are no mistakes! (In parenting)
-"I consider myself extremely lucky not to have read many parenting books." (I would do so well to remember this. I am a chronic over-researcher/reader...I am doing well with not buying any books this month, but you should see my hold list at the library! haha! I am resolved to keep processing and sharing what I'm learning, rather than just CONSUMING info non-stop)
Essentially, just spend time with the kids, and love them. Keep your energy calm - do not stress and worry.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
My bullet-point birth story
1. Lunch with Kathleen at Panera; feels like menstrual cramps...walk to wegmans, buy pineapple (another supposed DIY induction thing)
2. Make garlic chicken thighs for everyone for dinner
3. Retreat to basement - feeling really uncomfortable
4. Realize I am definitely in labor (~8-9 PM)
5. Spend all night listening to hypnobabies, alternately bent over sink, bent over basement stairs, on hands and knees, using TENS unit (or trying to get the electrodes to stay on. A little relief from this)...sometimes timing contractions...knowing I should be trying to sleep. Completely impossible. Contractions are 5 minutes apart, a minute long...all night. So much for the 5-1-1 rule - I know I'm not ready.
5a. Morning comes. The midwife calls me and starts saying "Unfortunately, we were only able to schedule you for induction tonight, instead of Sunday..." HAHA NOPE I'M IN LABOR!
6. Spend all morning on hands and knees, husband playing parks and rec episodes and later wallace and gromet, doing abdominal lift and tuck sometimes. Labor did NOT want me to lie down. Darn it so tired!
6a. Losing mucus plug. What a gross phrase...mucus plug.
7. Call midwife to try to figure out when to come in. So tired...making lots of noise.
8. Get in car at 3 pm, cry, go to hospital...Josh drives to Shady Grove administration...wrong waze entry.
9. Get checked by midwife ; she says 3-4 cm and 100% effaced - you will have the baby in the next 12 hours - want to stay or go? Gives great demonstration leaning over bed of what I will sound/look like when it's time to come back.
10. We go home - I know I'll be more comfortable/allowed to eat/etc
11. So tired. So so tired.
11. Midwife said don't take a bath, so I took a bath. Relief from contractions. Sweet sweet relief. This is where hypnobabies shines for me. I refocus. Closest I came to falling asleep.
12. Make a smoothie. First food in a while. It stayed down, although it felt like it might not.
13. Labor on. Lots of abdominal lift + tucking.
14. Side-lying in bed; so exhausted. Trying to rest. Labor did not want me to lie down.
14a. I cry on Josh on purpose. I tell him "I'm not in pain, I'm just so tired, and I need the emotional release...it might help."
15. 11pm - I am feeling pushy. Sounding and looking like midwife said I would. Josh calls.
16. We get in car. Did I cry? Maybe.
17. Walk up to L+D check in. I am leaning over desk, and on wall, making so much noise. I'm sure they've seen it all. Not even embarrassed.
18. We walk back to room - the very one we saw on tour. Nurse asks me if I want to wear my own clothes (NO), do I want the lights dim (YES). I appreciate. Josh helps me undress.
19. Laying in bed (WAH!) for 20 min monitoring. Like I said, labor did not want me lie down. Nurse starts IV antibiotic (Curses. But I knew I was getting it. I asked her to wait for contraction to end before starting it). They tell me I'm at 8 cm. That's the last time we talk about it.
20. IV ends real quick, monitoring ends (finally) - they ask would I like to get up. Absolutely. I lean over bed, midwife goes to start bath.
21. Have some contractions. WATER BREAKS on floor, Josh runs away. Midwife hears and comes back ... "Are you getting out of the splash zone?" - my socks got soaked. It was gross, but I never changed them.
22. Midwife says if I'm feeling pushy, we probably won't get in tub. OK, whatever! Never used the tub. Didn't care.
23. I'm feeling pushy. She reminds me to keep my heels down.
24. Nurse says "don't push, you'll tear yourself up" - I ignore.
Enter complete and total time-warp. I don't really know the detailed order of events from this point forward other than pushing and baby is born!
Things that happened...
- I used squat bar on bed. WOW this was an effort. Made me sweat big time. Thought this would be easier because I was such a great squatter in pregnancy. Laboring in squat is WORK.
- Josh thinks the midwife is lying to me when she says I'm doing great. I also wonder about progress, but decide not to ask.
-Josh also says I basically remind him of a warrior viking woman running down a hill into battle with an axe. Or that is how I sound.
-The atmosphere of the room is great in between contractions...I ask if I am the loudest person ever. They say no - what you're doing is working for you...The other women want what you have.
-I have some contractions on toilet.
-I do coached pushing. Never planned on it, but was so exhausted...I didn't mind. Counting to 10 and what not.
-Josh listens to hypnobabies tracks ("Wow this is really relaxing!") - asks if I want to...I don't know why I didn't say yes.
-Josh and Milka hold my legs, midwife tries to push cervical lip back. Very uncomfortable. My confidence doesn't really waver. Maybe I am too tired for it to waver. Tara ultimately decides to just leave it alone and says carry on pushing.
-I spend what seems like an eternity in the bed, but time doesn't exist.
-I keep thinking "PEACE" "RELEASE" and "GET HUGE"
-I do Ina May "Horse lips"
-I focus on my breathing
-Midwife and nurse keep reminding me to think about curling in (tuck chin in for super triple chin!)
-The midwife asks if I brought castor oil; Josh manages to find it in my bag
-They bring the baby cart in. I take this as a sign that I am getting close.
-Burning (I remember "even if you don't tear, it's going to feel like you're tearing)
-Primal intensity!
-Finally get to a point of no return. At this point, must keep pushing...baby clearly is not supposed to be at this point long. Maybe a brief feeling of fear when the baby is there and I'm not having a contraction.
-I divert all my focus and attention to other body parts - i.e. center of forehead.
-Her head is born...hardest part is over.
-Josh says this is paradigm-shifting. WOAH that baby is bigger than I thought...
-Body is born - they hold her up. I ask "Is it a girl?!" The answer is yes. I say something like "OK, Lucy."
-She was born at 3:44a.
-They put her up on my chest...Wow. Everyone was right. The work is over, and she is all that matters. Josh and I feel the pulsing cord.
-As cord thins, they set Josh up to cut it. Dont' mess up!
-Placenta delivered! I completely forgot we still had to do this! Nurse and Tara say encouraging things like "Wow you don't even look like you had a baby." We check out the placenta. Tara says "this is thin! she's been seeing light through this for a while."
-WARNING, PLACENTA PICTURE!
-Baby nurse comes to clean Lucy up.
-Modesty LOL. A new nurse asks if I care, I say no, and she says something like "OK! you're gonna be naked and you're baby's gonna be naked and it's gonna be awesome!"
-The baby Lucy has made her triumphal entry at 8lbs and 0.7 oz...clearly this was to prove a point.
-Tara concludes I have a deep sacrum - if I have another baby with the practice, don't let them hassle me about growth and not gaining enough weight.
-They give me a turkey sandwich - it never stood a chance.
-Half of my face falls asleep and I yell things as I fade in and out of sleep ("Let her keep the vernix!!")
-Dad, Ruffa dad, Ruffa mom, and Joe show up. It is barely 5 AM.
-Nurse makes me get up to pee. WOW my left hip nerve hurts. Peeing...wow I'm not sure my muscles can coordinate this. Am I peeing or just bleeding into the pot? (Sorry gross yes)
-They give me an absurd amount of ridiculous absorbent things. You have to give birth to see the size of the pads and stuff they give you...and the mesh underwear.
-We hang around in the hospital for a few days, pretending to count wet/dirty diapers and feedings, pretending she isn't sleeping in the bed with me, and feasting on chipotle that the family brings in.
Welcome Lucy.
2. Make garlic chicken thighs for everyone for dinner
3. Retreat to basement - feeling really uncomfortable
4. Realize I am definitely in labor (~8-9 PM)
5. Spend all night listening to hypnobabies, alternately bent over sink, bent over basement stairs, on hands and knees, using TENS unit (or trying to get the electrodes to stay on. A little relief from this)...sometimes timing contractions...knowing I should be trying to sleep. Completely impossible. Contractions are 5 minutes apart, a minute long...all night. So much for the 5-1-1 rule - I know I'm not ready.
5a. Morning comes. The midwife calls me and starts saying "Unfortunately, we were only able to schedule you for induction tonight, instead of Sunday..." HAHA NOPE I'M IN LABOR!
6. Spend all morning on hands and knees, husband playing parks and rec episodes and later wallace and gromet, doing abdominal lift and tuck sometimes. Labor did NOT want me to lie down. Darn it so tired!
6a. Losing mucus plug. What a gross phrase...mucus plug.
7. Call midwife to try to figure out when to come in. So tired...making lots of noise.
8. Get in car at 3 pm, cry, go to hospital...Josh drives to Shady Grove administration...wrong waze entry.
9. Get checked by midwife ; she says 3-4 cm and 100% effaced - you will have the baby in the next 12 hours - want to stay or go? Gives great demonstration leaning over bed of what I will sound/look like when it's time to come back.
10. We go home - I know I'll be more comfortable/allowed to eat/etc
11. So tired. So so tired.
11. Midwife said don't take a bath, so I took a bath. Relief from contractions. Sweet sweet relief. This is where hypnobabies shines for me. I refocus. Closest I came to falling asleep.
12. Make a smoothie. First food in a while. It stayed down, although it felt like it might not.
13. Labor on. Lots of abdominal lift + tucking.
14. Side-lying in bed; so exhausted. Trying to rest. Labor did not want me to lie down.
14a. I cry on Josh on purpose. I tell him "I'm not in pain, I'm just so tired, and I need the emotional release...it might help."
15. 11pm - I am feeling pushy. Sounding and looking like midwife said I would. Josh calls.
16. We get in car. Did I cry? Maybe.
17. Walk up to L+D check in. I am leaning over desk, and on wall, making so much noise. I'm sure they've seen it all. Not even embarrassed.
18. We walk back to room - the very one we saw on tour. Nurse asks me if I want to wear my own clothes (NO), do I want the lights dim (YES). I appreciate. Josh helps me undress.
19. Laying in bed (WAH!) for 20 min monitoring. Like I said, labor did not want me lie down. Nurse starts IV antibiotic (Curses. But I knew I was getting it. I asked her to wait for contraction to end before starting it). They tell me I'm at 8 cm. That's the last time we talk about it.
20. IV ends real quick, monitoring ends (finally) - they ask would I like to get up. Absolutely. I lean over bed, midwife goes to start bath.
21. Have some contractions. WATER BREAKS on floor, Josh runs away. Midwife hears and comes back ... "Are you getting out of the splash zone?" - my socks got soaked. It was gross, but I never changed them.
22. Midwife says if I'm feeling pushy, we probably won't get in tub. OK, whatever! Never used the tub. Didn't care.
23. I'm feeling pushy. She reminds me to keep my heels down.
24. Nurse says "don't push, you'll tear yourself up" - I ignore.
Enter complete and total time-warp. I don't really know the detailed order of events from this point forward other than pushing and baby is born!
Things that happened...
- I used squat bar on bed. WOW this was an effort. Made me sweat big time. Thought this would be easier because I was such a great squatter in pregnancy. Laboring in squat is WORK.
- Josh thinks the midwife is lying to me when she says I'm doing great. I also wonder about progress, but decide not to ask.
-Josh also says I basically remind him of a warrior viking woman running down a hill into battle with an axe. Or that is how I sound.
-The atmosphere of the room is great in between contractions...I ask if I am the loudest person ever. They say no - what you're doing is working for you...The other women want what you have.
-I have some contractions on toilet.
-I do coached pushing. Never planned on it, but was so exhausted...I didn't mind. Counting to 10 and what not.
-Josh listens to hypnobabies tracks ("Wow this is really relaxing!") - asks if I want to...I don't know why I didn't say yes.
-Josh and Milka hold my legs, midwife tries to push cervical lip back. Very uncomfortable. My confidence doesn't really waver. Maybe I am too tired for it to waver. Tara ultimately decides to just leave it alone and says carry on pushing.
-I spend what seems like an eternity in the bed, but time doesn't exist.
-I keep thinking "PEACE" "RELEASE" and "GET HUGE"
-I do Ina May "Horse lips"
-I focus on my breathing
-Midwife and nurse keep reminding me to think about curling in (tuck chin in for super triple chin!)
-The midwife asks if I brought castor oil; Josh manages to find it in my bag
-They bring the baby cart in. I take this as a sign that I am getting close.
-Burning (I remember "even if you don't tear, it's going to feel like you're tearing)
-Primal intensity!
-Finally get to a point of no return. At this point, must keep pushing...baby clearly is not supposed to be at this point long. Maybe a brief feeling of fear when the baby is there and I'm not having a contraction.
-I divert all my focus and attention to other body parts - i.e. center of forehead.
-Her head is born...hardest part is over.
-Josh says this is paradigm-shifting. WOAH that baby is bigger than I thought...
-Body is born - they hold her up. I ask "Is it a girl?!" The answer is yes. I say something like "OK, Lucy."
-She was born at 3:44a.
-They put her up on my chest...Wow. Everyone was right. The work is over, and she is all that matters. Josh and I feel the pulsing cord.
-As cord thins, they set Josh up to cut it. Dont' mess up!
-Placenta delivered! I completely forgot we still had to do this! Nurse and Tara say encouraging things like "Wow you don't even look like you had a baby." We check out the placenta. Tara says "this is thin! she's been seeing light through this for a while."
-WARNING, PLACENTA PICTURE!
-Baby nurse comes to clean Lucy up.
-Modesty LOL. A new nurse asks if I care, I say no, and she says something like "OK! you're gonna be naked and you're baby's gonna be naked and it's gonna be awesome!"
-The baby Lucy has made her triumphal entry at 8lbs and 0.7 oz...clearly this was to prove a point.
-Tara concludes I have a deep sacrum - if I have another baby with the practice, don't let them hassle me about growth and not gaining enough weight.
-My mom and sister magically show up because of mom's ESP phantom contractions
-They give me a turkey sandwich - it never stood a chance.
 |
| I eat bread for the first time in ... a long time. |
 |
| Note the sleep face. |
-Nurse makes me get up to pee. WOW my left hip nerve hurts. Peeing...wow I'm not sure my muscles can coordinate this. Am I peeing or just bleeding into the pot? (Sorry gross yes)
-They give me an absurd amount of ridiculous absorbent things. You have to give birth to see the size of the pads and stuff they give you...and the mesh underwear.
-We hang around in the hospital for a few days, pretending to count wet/dirty diapers and feedings, pretending she isn't sleeping in the bed with me, and feasting on chipotle that the family brings in.
Welcome Lucy.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Parts of Labor I DID NOT Experience
1. Transition
I read so much about this and totally expected to have this time in between labor and pushing (where I felt like dying!) I really never had this moment. My labor experience was just a gradual spectrum from contractions through to pushing.
2. "You're 10 centimeters"
When I came back to the hospital the 2nd time at around midnight to be admitted, my midwife checked me and said I was around 8 cm... and that was the last time we ever talked about it. I was never told "OK you're at 10 cm, time to push!" This ties into the fact that I never experienced transition, I suppose.
Along these same lines, I DID experience cervical lipping. My midwife handled it skillfully and never worried about it, so I didn't either - just kept pushing!
Here's a great excerpt from a post on midwifethinking.com: The Anterior Cervical Lip; How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Birth (I love midwifethinking!!)
"She begins to push with contractions, and her midwife encourages her to follow her body. After a little while the midwife checks to ‘see what is happening’ and finds an anterior cervical lip. The woman is told to stop pushing because she is not fully dilated and will damage herself. "
My nurse DID tell me not to push at one point ("Don't push! You'll tear yourself up!") after the midwife had said I was at 8 cm. I remember thinking to myself "Whatever lady, I'm fine, and I'm pushing...and I don't even know how to NOT push, so get lost!" Like I said, my midwife never discouraged me at all, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I read so much about this and totally expected to have this time in between labor and pushing (where I felt like dying!) I really never had this moment. My labor experience was just a gradual spectrum from contractions through to pushing.
2. "You're 10 centimeters"
When I came back to the hospital the 2nd time at around midnight to be admitted, my midwife checked me and said I was around 8 cm... and that was the last time we ever talked about it. I was never told "OK you're at 10 cm, time to push!" This ties into the fact that I never experienced transition, I suppose.
Along these same lines, I DID experience cervical lipping. My midwife handled it skillfully and never worried about it, so I didn't either - just kept pushing!
Here's a great excerpt from a post on midwifethinking.com: The Anterior Cervical Lip; How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Birth (I love midwifethinking!!)
"She begins to push with contractions, and her midwife encourages her to follow her body. After a little while the midwife checks to ‘see what is happening’ and finds an anterior cervical lip. The woman is told to stop pushing because she is not fully dilated and will damage herself. "
My nurse DID tell me not to push at one point ("Don't push! You'll tear yourself up!") after the midwife had said I was at 8 cm. I remember thinking to myself "Whatever lady, I'm fine, and I'm pushing...and I don't even know how to NOT push, so get lost!" Like I said, my midwife never discouraged me at all, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Lucy and Car Challenges
This usually doesn't happen.
This has been our biggest struggle since birth!
We started with the Graco Click Connect 35 - very popular infant car seat. We took a trip to Williamsburg when she was just over a week old; this was about a 4 hour trip. She did pretty well with this, had a few crying episodes, but was mostly her sleepy newborn self.
We took her to a wedding at 3 weeks old, and she cried for about 20 minutes straight on the return trip (then took a break for 7 minutes, then cried another 8 minutes - yes, we timed it). I think we thought this was something she would have outgrown by now, but apparently it is not! She seems to be one of the 1% of babies that does not like the car.
We decided to get a convertible Britax seat to see if it helped. I think it did a little bit, especially with the addition of a rear-facing mirror. She does nap or quietly entertain herself sometimes, but on almost all trips, we are guaranteed to go through some degree of upset with her. When she gets REALLY worked up, she has been known to vom :( - that has happened 3 times... it is horribly heart-wrenching.
How do I feel when this is happening? I used to have pretty intense anxiety, and when I can't get through to her, I put up a wall and generally feel miserable. I have had several trips where just focusing on my breathing helps a lot... I have "Om'ed" at her on a few rides. I have tried pulling over to soothe or feed her ("Hello ICC maintenance guy, no there's no car problem...I just have a baby problem" ... that experience ended in vomit!). Sometimes I try to talk to her, but I don't think it really makes a difference. Sometimes I play music. If I'm sitting with her, sometimes I can distract her by blowing raspberries on her face or playing with a toy. It is hard not to wallow in the feelings of helplessness and bitterness about car seat laws being what they are.
My brain often spins around this problem. No solutions yet. I just have to learn to be OK with it. Mindfulness.
We will get through it Lucy!
Friday, October 9, 2015
My entrypoint to the "primal" lifestyle
For me, I think it all started with my feet.
As a high school track athlete, there was just nothing better than the rare occasions when our coach would let us do barefoot windsprints in the grass. This led to a great appreciation for the beauty and strength of the unshod foot.
In college, going barefoot (and doing other strange things) - is kind of normal. I got a pair of fivefingers in 2009 and wore them for quite a while. I liked them, but they did get smelly and I thought there were better options for a more minimal foot covering and better ground-feel experience.
In 2011, at my first job post-college, we were required to wear steel-toe boots. That whole experience grated on my mind, soul, and body in so many ways. My energy levels were terrible; it was at this point in life that I got totally hooked on coffee. My best guess as to what happened next is that as I was searching for ways to minimize the cast-like feel of my steel-toe boots, I found marksdailyapple.com. I read his book "The Primal Blueprint" and it really resonated with me. As I was eating granola bars and oatmeal at work that seemed to make me hungrier and more tired as soon as I ate them, I thought about how my dad had always told me that "fat doesn't make you fat." Armed with new ideas from the primal blueprint, I upped my intake of awesome dietary fats big-time. My energy levels sky-rocketed and I've never looked back!
The two aspects of the primal lifestyle that I am most passionate about are barefooting and the un-demonization (...yes) of real, whole-food fats (I love me some saturateds and cholesterol!). I love to talk and learn about these things and they will certainly be featured more on this blog. :)
As a high school track athlete, there was just nothing better than the rare occasions when our coach would let us do barefoot windsprints in the grass. This led to a great appreciation for the beauty and strength of the unshod foot.
In college, going barefoot (and doing other strange things) - is kind of normal. I got a pair of fivefingers in 2009 and wore them for quite a while. I liked them, but they did get smelly and I thought there were better options for a more minimal foot covering and better ground-feel experience.
In 2011, at my first job post-college, we were required to wear steel-toe boots. That whole experience grated on my mind, soul, and body in so many ways. My energy levels were terrible; it was at this point in life that I got totally hooked on coffee. My best guess as to what happened next is that as I was searching for ways to minimize the cast-like feel of my steel-toe boots, I found marksdailyapple.com. I read his book "The Primal Blueprint" and it really resonated with me. As I was eating granola bars and oatmeal at work that seemed to make me hungrier and more tired as soon as I ate them, I thought about how my dad had always told me that "fat doesn't make you fat." Armed with new ideas from the primal blueprint, I upped my intake of awesome dietary fats big-time. My energy levels sky-rocketed and I've never looked back!
The two aspects of the primal lifestyle that I am most passionate about are barefooting and the un-demonization (...yes) of real, whole-food fats (I love me some saturateds and cholesterol!). I love to talk and learn about these things and they will certainly be featured more on this blog. :)
Thursday, October 8, 2015
EC: 4 month update and How to make your whole day revolve around poop!
Lucy is 4 months old and we are still going strong with the part-time EC!
Right around 2.5 months, her gut slowed way down, and she started having just one BM per day. It was very predictable; almost always in the morning. (Yay! Easy!)
Recently, as she has been engaging with the world more, she is a little less content to sit on the boring old potty. We had a few days recently where she didn't have to go in the morning, and she ended up going when we were out and about and I totally never saw it coming!
As strange as it may seem, it is kind of addicting to catch the poops, and it was making me a little sad when I had a streak of days where I missed them. (Good practice for figuring out cloth diapers though! ... This whole thing is totally a firstborn child thing...) For a couple of days after my streak of misses, I got a little hyper about figuring out her timing. I spent a lot of extra time with her on the potty and wondering when she was going to go. She wasn't a fan, and neither was I. It was starting to feel like my whole day was revolving around her poop! How ridiculous!
I took a step back and reminded myself to redefine success in this area as just offering the potty - it doesn't really matter whether we catch it or not! Poopy diapers aren't that much work (no more work than taking her to the potty and sitting around waiting forever when she doesn't have to go) and this isn't about getting out of diapers freakishly early. It is just about understanding her needs, helping her stay clean, and having FUN. I will have to keep coming back and reminding myself my purpose in doing this unless I want my whole life to revolve around poop ;)
As things are right now, I've been offering it about 10 minutes after she wakes up and/or 10 minutes after first morning feeding. If I get nothing then, I will offer after feedings later in the day. Sometimes I will offer when we are changing diapers and will catch a pee. Fun!
Right around 2.5 months, her gut slowed way down, and she started having just one BM per day. It was very predictable; almost always in the morning. (Yay! Easy!)
Recently, as she has been engaging with the world more, she is a little less content to sit on the boring old potty. We had a few days recently where she didn't have to go in the morning, and she ended up going when we were out and about and I totally never saw it coming!
As strange as it may seem, it is kind of addicting to catch the poops, and it was making me a little sad when I had a streak of days where I missed them. (Good practice for figuring out cloth diapers though! ... This whole thing is totally a firstborn child thing...) For a couple of days after my streak of misses, I got a little hyper about figuring out her timing. I spent a lot of extra time with her on the potty and wondering when she was going to go. She wasn't a fan, and neither was I. It was starting to feel like my whole day was revolving around her poop! How ridiculous!
I took a step back and reminded myself to redefine success in this area as just offering the potty - it doesn't really matter whether we catch it or not! Poopy diapers aren't that much work (no more work than taking her to the potty and sitting around waiting forever when she doesn't have to go) and this isn't about getting out of diapers freakishly early. It is just about understanding her needs, helping her stay clean, and having FUN. I will have to keep coming back and reminding myself my purpose in doing this unless I want my whole life to revolve around poop ;)
As things are right now, I've been offering it about 10 minutes after she wakes up and/or 10 minutes after first morning feeding. If I get nothing then, I will offer after feedings later in the day. Sometimes I will offer when we are changing diapers and will catch a pee. Fun!
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
A new pediatrician!
I just got back from Lucy's first visit to our new pediatrician and I am feeling great about the decision to switch practices. I had no real problem with our first practice, but I wanted a doctor who would emphasize HEALTHcare rather than SICKcare, if you know what I mean!
What prompted me to look for a different pediatrician was my desire to have a doctor with a different perspective on infant vaccination. I believe there is too much that is still unknown about infant immunizations in the time-sensitive period of their first 6 months (when their gut is immature, and they are often still exclusively breastfed). It is so nice to have a doctor that is on my side, and who doesn't look at me like I'm growing another head when we talk about these issues... instead, she is on the forefront of knowledge, and giving me new ideas!
We had a good chat about a whole range of infant care issues, from first foods and teething to sleep, screen-time, and mushrooms (for mom!)
Lucy had a great time too...except for the return car-ride (womp womp).
I am excited to have found this awesome new resource and pumped for our 6 month visit!
What prompted me to look for a different pediatrician was my desire to have a doctor with a different perspective on infant vaccination. I believe there is too much that is still unknown about infant immunizations in the time-sensitive period of their first 6 months (when their gut is immature, and they are often still exclusively breastfed). It is so nice to have a doctor that is on my side, and who doesn't look at me like I'm growing another head when we talk about these issues... instead, she is on the forefront of knowledge, and giving me new ideas!
We had a good chat about a whole range of infant care issues, from first foods and teething to sleep, screen-time, and mushrooms (for mom!)
Lucy had a great time too...except for the return car-ride (womp womp).
I am excited to have found this awesome new resource and pumped for our 6 month visit!
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Baby Comparing.
Sitting on the couch with my father in law this past Sunday, we got to talking about how Lucy was doing. I mentioned that it was stressful that she wouldn't take a bottle when I was gone. That led to a discussion about how young parents are constantly comparing their babies and children; it's a natural thing to do, but it can put undue stress on parents. I can already see how this happens in the size percentiles and developmental milestone comparisons people make...as if inches and pounds indicate anything about what kind of person this baby will be! Or as if our babies' sizes somehow reflects on the quality of our milk...etc. (Lucy is a big, healthy baby...but that's all that it means! She could be a big baby, and end up short like me, or tall like Josh). And so what if she walks or talks or rolls or is potty-trained earlier or later than whatever the average is! Josh's dad reminded me that when she grows up, we might remember when she did, but it won't matter...she's going to do all these things eventually. He said that if he could do it again, he wouldn't worry about things like that so much - the most important thing is just to love them, and provide a loving family environment. Do what works for you as a parent, don't be too impacted by the judgment or criticism of others, and withhold judgment on other parents who choose do things differently.
It is fun to appreciate them for exactly what they are in the moment each day.
ANYWAY, she laughed for the first time yesterday, and it was awesome.
It is fun to appreciate them for exactly what they are in the moment each day.
ANYWAY, she laughed for the first time yesterday, and it was awesome.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Books I've Read in 2015
I have an amazon kindle addiction problem...maybe it's just a plain old amazon problem. So, I'm cutting myself off for the month of October, and taking some time to review what I've read!
Here's a list of what I've been into this year!
Favorite Baby Books
1. The Discontented Little Baby Book (my favorite book of the year! I reviewed it on amazon here)
2. Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and Baby's First Foods (my favorite nutrition book of the year!)
3. Sweet Sleep: Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family (loved this sweet book from LLI...it's a great practical look at co-sleeping)
4. Vaccines 2.0: The Careful Parent's Guide to Making Safe Vaccination Choices for Your Family (my favorite book on vaccines! I also read the Sears guide to vaccination and another book by a homeopathist. This book gives a balanced look at the pros and cons of each vaccine and gives practical ideas about how to schedule them in ways besides the CDC reccs)
5. Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent (I got it from the library! Woo! The subtitle says it all. I find it amazing all the different ways that babies around the world are raised, and what different cultures value. This made me feel like I couldn't go TOO wrong parenting)
More Baby Books (Oh dear...)
6. The Intuitive Parent: Why the Best Thing for Your Child is You (I loved this...basically do what makes sense to you as a parent; babies pull what they need from their environment at the developmentally appropriate time - dont worry about fancy toys or programs)
7. Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene (the original book on EC; it's sweet...emphasis on gentle parenting)
8. The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative
9. The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program: Follow Your Child's Natural Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps (I liked the idea at first, but it's just not me...when Lucy is tired, I try to help her sleep. Sometimes we have to do things during the day though and I can't be a slave to her nap schedule)
10. The Minimalist Mom's Guide to Baby's First Year: enjoy your first year of parenting with less mess, stress and stuff (yes!! I loved this; Josh and I are working with a small space, so we have to be choosy about what we keep)
11. Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy (lots of fun, nerdy pregnancy science! very fun to read when you're pregnant)
12. Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know (the key points for me were! coffee is OK in moderation, and so is wine after the first trimester! WOO! there is a ton of other cool evidence on other controversial pregnancy and birth stuff though)
13. Brain Rules for Baby (Updated and Expanded): How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five
14. Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child's First Year
15. Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping
16. The Two-Income Trap: Why Parents Are Choosing To Stay Home
17. The Continuum Concept: In Search Of Happiness Lost (Classics in Human Development)
18. The Other Baby Book: A Natural Approach to Baby's First Year
19. Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three (I liked the emphasis on encouraging independence in children, but this book makes me feel totally inadequate)
27. Ketone Power: Superfuel for Optimal Mental Health and Ultimate Physical Performance
28. Whole Body Barefoot: Transitioning Well to Minimal Footwear (did not finish; I've ready so many barefoot books...I don't need any more convincing or help transitioning!)
29. The Oxygen Advantage: The Simple, Scientifically Proven Breathing Techniques for a Healthier, Slimmer, Faster, and Fitter You (breathe through your nose!)
30. Brain Maker: The Power of Gut Microbes to Heal and Protect Your Brain–for Life
33. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
Here's a list of what I've been into this year!
Favorite Baby Books
1. The Discontented Little Baby Book (my favorite book of the year! I reviewed it on amazon here)
2. Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and Baby's First Foods (my favorite nutrition book of the year!)
3. Sweet Sleep: Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family (loved this sweet book from LLI...it's a great practical look at co-sleeping)
4. Vaccines 2.0: The Careful Parent's Guide to Making Safe Vaccination Choices for Your Family (my favorite book on vaccines! I also read the Sears guide to vaccination and another book by a homeopathist. This book gives a balanced look at the pros and cons of each vaccine and gives practical ideas about how to schedule them in ways besides the CDC reccs)
5. Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent (I got it from the library! Woo! The subtitle says it all. I find it amazing all the different ways that babies around the world are raised, and what different cultures value. This made me feel like I couldn't go TOO wrong parenting)
More Baby Books (Oh dear...)
6. The Intuitive Parent: Why the Best Thing for Your Child is You (I loved this...basically do what makes sense to you as a parent; babies pull what they need from their environment at the developmentally appropriate time - dont worry about fancy toys or programs)
7. Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene (the original book on EC; it's sweet...emphasis on gentle parenting)
8. The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative
9. The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program: Follow Your Child's Natural Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps (I liked the idea at first, but it's just not me...when Lucy is tired, I try to help her sleep. Sometimes we have to do things during the day though and I can't be a slave to her nap schedule)
10. The Minimalist Mom's Guide to Baby's First Year: enjoy your first year of parenting with less mess, stress and stuff (yes!! I loved this; Josh and I are working with a small space, so we have to be choosy about what we keep)
11. Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy (lots of fun, nerdy pregnancy science! very fun to read when you're pregnant)
12. Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know (the key points for me were! coffee is OK in moderation, and so is wine after the first trimester! WOO! there is a ton of other cool evidence on other controversial pregnancy and birth stuff though)
13. Brain Rules for Baby (Updated and Expanded): How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five
14. Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child's First Year
15. Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping
16. The Two-Income Trap: Why Parents Are Choosing To Stay Home
17. The Continuum Concept: In Search Of Happiness Lost (Classics in Human Development)
18. The Other Baby Book: A Natural Approach to Baby's First Year
19. Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three (I liked the emphasis on encouraging independence in children, but this book makes me feel totally inadequate)
20. Baby Knows Best: Raising a Confident and Resourceful Child, the RIE™ Way (Another book that for some reason just makes me feel inadequate! Emphasis on baby independence too. Cool, but this is totally an American cultural value)
21. The Food of Love: The Easier Way to Breastfeed Your Baby (hippy breastfeeding comic book ?)
22. Start Here: Breastfeeding and Infant Care with Humor and Common Sense (a cool infant care book by a local lactation consultant...I like it because it's short and practical when you only have little gaps of time, one hand, and are confused about your infant)
22. Start Here: Breastfeeding and Infant Care with Humor and Common Sense (a cool infant care book by a local lactation consultant...I like it because it's short and practical when you only have little gaps of time, one hand, and are confused about your infant)
Birth Books
23. Natural Hospital Child Birth (this book was one of my favorites on birth!)
25. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (classic on birth)
Other Books! (Nutrition, Natural Movement, Spirituality)
26. Diastasis Recti Primer: Untangle the Conflicting Theories About How to Narrow the GapOther Books! (Nutrition, Natural Movement, Spirituality)
27. Ketone Power: Superfuel for Optimal Mental Health and Ultimate Physical Performance
28. Whole Body Barefoot: Transitioning Well to Minimal Footwear (did not finish; I've ready so many barefoot books...I don't need any more convincing or help transitioning!)
29. The Oxygen Advantage: The Simple, Scientifically Proven Breathing Techniques for a Healthier, Slimmer, Faster, and Fitter You (breathe through your nose!)
30. Brain Maker: The Power of Gut Microbes to Heal and Protect Your Brain–for Life
33. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
Side bar...Cookbooks I'm digging
Real Food for Gestational Diabetes: An Effective Alternative to the Conventional Nutrition Approach (I did not have GD, but there is a severe lack of books emphasizing real food for pregnancy - I love this book for the emphasis and ideas re: low-carb during pregnancy)
Paleo Takes 5 - Or Fewer: Healthy Eating was Never Easier with These Delicious 3, 4 and 5 Ingredient Recipes
The Performance Paleo Cookbook: Recipes for Training Harder, Getting Stronger and Gaining the Competitive Edge (I am the laziest cook and both these books have so many simple, beautiful recipes)
Real Food for Gestational Diabetes: An Effective Alternative to the Conventional Nutrition Approach (I did not have GD, but there is a severe lack of books emphasizing real food for pregnancy - I love this book for the emphasis and ideas re: low-carb during pregnancy)
Paleo Takes 5 - Or Fewer: Healthy Eating was Never Easier with These Delicious 3, 4 and 5 Ingredient Recipes
The Performance Paleo Cookbook: Recipes for Training Harder, Getting Stronger and Gaining the Competitive Edge (I am the laziest cook and both these books have so many simple, beautiful recipes)
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